Special article#2 The secrets of being happy

New Life At Ease
Jul 1, 2020
7 min read

“Try to make at least one person happy every day, and then in ten years you may have made three thousand, six hundred and fifty persons happy, or brightened a small town by your contribution to the fund of general enjoyment.” – Sydney Smith

Do people wonder if is being happy necessary? Yes, the do, many of you may think like that. People think people who have everything are happy, who are rich, achieved their dreams are the ones who are happy or they think in the other way that people who don't work or don't struggle for dreams are happy because they think that if we take the stress and be depressed, it means we are struggling. They wear stress as a badge and show how hardworking they are. Happiness is being in that moment, not waiting for the moment to be created. You have to remember this.

There is no wrong in being depressed but that should not lead to your emotional imbalance. If you think you are struggling by being sad and stressed, that may give you success but you will be disconnected from people emotionally. Enjoy your work, have fun while you are working. Don't name it as "struggle" if you are enjoying it. That's a load for you,

What Is Happiness? – Definitions

What is the definition of happiness? Can happiness be defined?

People throughout the ages have asked these questions. They have wondered what is this feeling of happiness, what makes it arise, and how to hold it longer.

Is happiness a physical reaction, the effect of certain hormones in the body? Is it dependent on certain external circumstances, or is it some kind of inner, mental, emotional, or state? All these could be triggers that lead to experiencing it.

Happiness often comes and goes. It comes, stays for a little while, and then some negative feeling replaces it and it is gone. Does this mean that we have no control of happiness and we cannot lengthen its duration?

Wikipedia defines happiness as, “A mental or emotional state of well-being which can be defined by, among others, positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.”

In an article on forbes.com, George Bradt writes that a survey of Harvard’s class of 1980, concluded that, “Happiness comes from choosing to be happy with whatever you do, strengthening your closest relationships and taking care of yourself physically, financially and emotionally.”

Merriam Webster defines happiness as, “A state of well-being and contentment.”
In her book, “The How of Happiness”, Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, defines happiness as, “the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.”
Author Ayn Rand says: “Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one’s values“.
Mahatma Gandhi says: “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony”.
To psychological researchers, the two components of Subjective Well-Being (SWB) are "feelings of happiness" and "thoughts of satisfaction with life".

Every individual has their own definition of what makes them happy. But the extensive research on happiness has shown that there are certain needs that must be satisfied in order to achieve this emotional state. What we are referring to is long-term happiness and not the momentary feelings of joy we experience in our everyday lives.

What Is the Meaning of Happiness in Positive Psychology?

The meaning of happiness in Positive Psychology really depends on who you ask.

Happiness is often known by another name in positive psychology research: subjective well-being, or SWB. Some believe happiness is one of the core components of SWB, while others believe happiness is SWB. Regardless, you’ll frequently find SWB used as a shorthand for happiness in the literature.

Here are a few additional definitions of happiness and its effect on one’s health and life.

It is the experience of joy, contentment, and a good feeling about yourself and your life.
It is a positive emotion that makes you feel good and satisfied.
It is joy, satisfaction, well-being, and a sense of bliss.
Happiness comes from within you, rising into your awareness when the mind is calm and quiet.
Happiness leads to good relationships, love, and harmony.
It leads to peace, joy, and a feeling of freedom.
Happiness strengthens the immune system and reduces stress.
Its presence makes you more positive and you expect good things to happen.
When you enjoy this feeling, you become more tolerant and patient with people.
You are in a better position to solve problems.
Happiness neutralizes negative emotions.
Happy people are positive, optimistic, tolerant, and more patient people. They are helpful and it is easier to get along with them.

Studies on Happiness

Since the 1960s, scientific disciplines have conducted research on happiness, to determine how humans can live happier lives. The scientific pursuit of positive emotion and happiness is the pillar of positive psychology, first proposed in 1998 by Martin E. P. Seligman.

The studies have come up with varied results and views on the cause of happiness. Here are some of their findings:

One result from the 75-year Grant Study of Harvard undergraduates shows that loving relationships, especially with parents, have a great impact on our well-being in our later years.
Based on twin studies, Sonja Lyubomirsky concludes that 50% of our happiness level is determined by our genes, 40% is related to our self-control, and 10% is influenced by personal situations and life circumstances.
Finnish research on 701 individuals showed that happiness activates our whole body, from the head down to the legs.
People are able to extract more pleasure out of ordinary experiences as they age. Younger people defined their happiness more through extraordinary experiences.
Excessive money, beyond what we need to feed, clothe, and house ourselves only increases happiness by a fraction.
A Harvard Business School Study found that we are happier when we spend money on others, rather than on ourselves.
Relationships are the keys to long-term happiness. The effect is strongest on married couples, but deep meaningful relationships with others have the same impact.
Surveys by Gallup, the National Research Center and the Pew Organisation states that people who are more spiritual tend to be happier than those who are not.
Religious people who benefit from social contact and peer support also showed an increased tendency to be happy and satisfied with their lives. The practice of optimism and service to others are contributing factors.
Research findings show that 8 hugs a day can increase your levels of oxytocin, and result in a happier you. A higher level of oxytocin is attributed to feelings of trust and camaraderie.
People’s moods significantly improve after engaging in exercise. (University of Bristol, 2008)
Acts of kindness make people more well-liked and accepted. This leads to social acceptance and improved self-image. (University of British Columbia, 2012)
In a significant study by the University of California in 2008, researchers concluded that surrounding yourself with happy people will increase the possibilities of your future happiness. Happiness is said to be contagious.
The experience of being able to buy material things causes happiness, not the possession itself. It satisfies our higher-order needs for social connectedness and vitality, and heightens the feeling of being alive. (San Francisco State University, 2009.

Are you Happy?

Psychologists have long distinguished the difference in Life Satisfaction (your thoughts and feelings about your life as a whole) from Subjective Well-Being (your actual feelings of happiness at the moment.) One does not decide the outcome of the other.

If you were asked to rate your happiness right now, it will not be an accurate indicator of your Life Satisfaction. You may be feeling stressed with your work, or having a fight with your loved one – and you will give your state of happiness a low rating. Subjective Well-Being is dependent on current situations

Maybe you just had a promotion or got good grades and you’re feeling on top of the world. You’re happy. But if you were asked if you’re satisfied with your life in general, you may rate your Life Satisfaction differently. You probably have more plans for your life that have not come to pass.

This shows that happiness is not equal to Life Satisfaction or feelings of fulfillment, which equates to long-term happiness. Your overall sense of well-being cannot be determined by how happy you are today or last Yesterday.

5 ways to be happy

These are the ways you have to try and start being happy.

1. Before sleeping each night or after you wake up, say one thing you are grateful for.

For example, I am grateful for my caring and kind friends

2. Write a Thank You note to someone this week. If you can’t find anything else to thank someone for, then just write them a note to thank them for being in your life. Any time they spend with you is a gift because they could choose to spend it with someone else.

3. Take some time to breathe. There is no easier way to make time for yourself and be grateful for your own existence than to breathe. Close your eyes. Breathe in through your nose for a count of three and out through your mouth for a count of five. Do this 5 times.

4. Do nothing for 2 minutes. Guess what happens? Nothing! You didn’t lose your job. Your family didn’t leave you. You’re not a failure. Nobody judged you. In fact, the only thing that really happened was that you realized that you can make time for yourself and enjoy your own presence without consuming something (eating, watching TV, etc).

5. Call a friend that you haven’t talked to in a while. We live for close connection. Having Facebook friends and Twitter followers and a large network is great, but it lacks the meaning of close connection. Reach out to someone who is important to you. Talk about whatever the hell you want. You don’t have to say anything cheesy or uncomfortable. Just enjoy the conversation and be grateful for that person.

So, next time you feel low, just put a smile on your face knowing that you have something/someone in your life to support you and there is nothing to lose.

References